First let’s determine what we mean by the terms ‘dating ‘ and ‘relationships’. When does a date become a relationship? On the third or 4th date? When you have slept together? When you’ve both agreed to move on to the subsequent stage?

While all of these factors come into play, like everything else in the dating world, it’s not an exact science. It tends be a mutual thing, a fixed acceptance by you and your fellow that your relationship is special, doubtless exclusive and going somewhere. It can still be exciting of course, but there are certain hunches that are made — like Mondays are picture nights or Friday evenings are spent independently of one another. By this stage you’re likely not wondering if he’ll ever call again, you know that he favors briefs to boxers and whether he’s taking sugar in his coffee. If you haven’t met any of his pals, have no idea which soccer team he supports, or whether he’s still playing the field, then you are likely still in the dating phase.

You need to remember that while finding a fellow to date is a real challenge , it isn’t a competition. Enjoy the pursuit, the goal setting and the excitement – but don’t let yourself believe that in you are in a race to some type of finishing post with your other friends.

It is often correct that when you are in a functioning relationship, you seem to be more favored and interesting than when you are single. This is thanks to the fact that being an element of a couple seems to show that you’re appealing and successful. And ironically you often get even more fascinating to other men. This is in part thanks to the actual fact that a girl who is spoken for is often the final challenge to another man — their competitive genes frequently outweigh their common sense and in part thanks to the safety element of having the ability to relax, chat and even flirt with someone who, because they are dating one of their friends, is not likely to put any demands on them. This extra appeal though, is also down to the natural self-confidence that folks give off when they’re contented and in a functioning relationship that makes them feel happy.

Dating is great: it’s fun, it has its own special momentum and it doesn’t have to lead to a much more serious relationship. It may of course, but part of the fun is just enjoying your time together, the findings that you make about each other and the sheer, easy pleasure of not having to wonder whether he is ‘the one ‘ or where it could be leading. Always remember that a date is just for one or two hours, not for the rest of your life. What have you got to lose? (And incidentally, this is the same dating advice for men as it is for girls.).

Susan Pinner is a dating coach and correspondent on subjects like how to attract women, and popular dating manuals like Guy Gets Girl.

Tags: how to attract women, how to be alpha male, how to pick up girls, how to talk to a girl